Monday: The Big Day

I've recently found myself in a position where everybody (seemingly) wants to know what I "do."

I never know exactly what to say to this question. Any time I've tested the honesty method, it has backfired with a series of craned necks, faces frozen into a shape only a mother could love, and a resounding, "Why would you want to do that?"

I have since changed my answer to, "I'm a domestic engineer with emphasis on individualized education." This new answer gives me another five seconds or so before I'm wounded by the previously mentioned ammunition.

Clearly it is outside of the norm (whatever that is) to be a stay-at-home mother that homeschools.

I admit, I used to think that homeschooled children were sheltered. Each one that I'd ever met had little to no social skills, were lacking in personality and confidence, and were painfully attached to Mommy's side. My mother didnt have much of a relationship with us growing up. In fact, it wasnt until I had given birth to my first child that she realized that her ways may need some adjusting. I enjoyed raising Aidan and when his first day of public school arrived, I was more than eager to send him into the world and let him figure out who he wanted to be. Of course, watching him get on that bus with the rest of the kids who seemed to tower over him sent a pang of sadness through my heart. I missed my baby!

I was angry, but happy, when public school didnt work out for him. I credit my friend Karen for giving me the knowlege that I needed to make that transition into homeschooling. I will be forever grateful. I love to see that lightbulb flash, I love to watch him grow and learn new things. I was mesmerized with the idea of having control again. Admittedly so, I am the person who needs to have a handle on everything or I feel overwhelmed. I feel overwhelmed regardless, but when I can feel connected to the cause it is less severe. Controlling what he learned and how he learned had great appeal.

The first week of home education was glorious, very honeymoon-like. Aidan breezed through his currirulum, we werent being held back by schedule, and I could supplement any way my little heart desired. The year went off without a hiccup, we only had a few days where I thought, "That's it! Youre going back to public school tomorrow!" Of course, when tomorrow came, things were smoothe again. I learned that he had learned to press my buttons... sometimes three and four at a time.

I have plans to begin school in three days. Monday. The Big Day. All hands on deck.

Anybody who says that homeschool is the easy way out is clearly, and easily, out of their mind. Aside from giving birth, its one of the most difficult things to do! The lesson planning alone takes nearly 2hrs per subject. The prepwork for each subject each week take another block of time, xeroxing worksheets, putting together project kits, etc. is a challenge. Throw in the making of quizzes and tests that coordinate with the work the kids are doing, add on the grading and you've got at least the equivalent of a part-time job on your hands. As time consuming as it is, the reward outweighs it all. Unfortunately hugs, smiles, lightbulbs and laughter dont pay the bills.

It must be a common misconception that moms who teach their kids are extremely attached and have abandonment issues. I must not be one of those moms. I homeschool because it's what's best for my kids. The public school system will never be able to give them as much as I can, it will never meet every distinct need (especially of a child who has major sensory issues), it will never be able to provide them with the one-on-one time that young children need to thrive. So far, the only thing that I have noticed that the public school system gives that I cant is 8hrs of social activity. Sure, I could take them to a group where they could sit beside or behind another kid all day long, but that doesnt solve my problem. Homeschooling isnt a social outlet for me. I dont belong to a group and I have no intention of belonging to a group. I simply dont feel comfortable letting someone else teach my kid right now. As far as I can tell, that's what happens during those times. Parents get together, one person takes one subject, the other another and the rest of them socialize amongst themselves. No thanks.

I've been asked "so what do you do all day long?" "Pretty much the same thing that you do," I reply. Scoffing, they might say "you cant possibly understand the magnitude of managing a career and a family."

Considering the town I live in, I had to take a poetic liberty with the last reply. If I were staying true to form, I'd hear "Wail, howdja figger dat? You haint werkin at de wal-mart so you'ins caint have no creer at home rearin yungins."

Anyway.

I'll tell you what I do all day long.

I wake up... just like you.
I feed my kids their breakfast... just like you.
I load the dishwasher... (hopefully) just like you.
I dress my kids (sometimes they wear PJs)... just like you.

Here's the kicker, instead of shuffling them onto a bus that had been hit twice during our breif stint with public school, I guide mine to the kitchen table. I talk to them about the previous day. We recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I make reference to the progress chart on the wall and explain that in order to get another colored square, they must complete the assignment for the day.

If your child goes to public school, I'm sure that its a similar routine. They arrive at school, take a seat in their designated area, recite the Pledge of Allegiance, and somebody outlines their day and assigns a task.

Now, back to being just like you.

I go about my day once my kids are in school. I complete the tasks that my "job" require. I imagine my daily duties dont stray far from anybody else's. I only WISH that I could sit behind a desk all day long, shuffling people in and out of appointments and answering a phone all the while not being asked for another drink or a cookie or could I please come and wipe their heinie.

At the end of the day, we've all got an errand to run, laundry to wash, dishes to wash, meals to cook, things to mail, phonecalls to make, and stress to deal with. Why is it such a big dang deal that I do what is best for my child.... from home?

I've kind of strayed from my point so I'll end with asking you this: when you meet someone new, what is it that you say when asked what you do? How do you deal with the Mommy Wars between working and stay-at-home moms? How do you deal with the prejudices against homeschooling?